Men and Romance

Ladies reading my title will most likely be interested in reading this. Men? Not so much. But why is that? Because when it chand-holdingomes to the title of Romance, men get icky. Nhand-holdingow, you may say I’m speaking like an eight year boy when he sees his mommy and daddy kissing or when discussing girls. That’s because many men feel this way when they read any type of romantic scene in a book. Most just don’t seem to like it. They get uncomfortable or cringe, as I’ve read it described, or they just have no interest whatsoever. Love scenes turn them off and they find them tedious and boring.

Why, you may ask? Many men read Fifty Shades of Grey. Now, I’ve never heard what these men thought of the books. I haven’t read any reviews personally from these average Joes or heard them speak of it. So either they don’t want anyone to know they read them, or I just haven’t met any. The only men I’m aware of that read it and had comments to make were the critics, and they hated it, obviously. If you’re wondering why other men read FSOG when it is a romantic trilogy, I believe they did for a couple of reasons. One being that it was an EROTICA novel. The majority of men in the world love sex and if there is explicit sex in a book, I’m sure they’re very curious. Since these novels were widely known and talked about, they were the perfect ones for them to pick up at their local bookstore or order online. The other reason some men would read this series is because WOMEN loved it. Yes, believe it or not, there are some men who are actually curious about why women loved this. Realizing that many women were and are hot for this trilogy; they wanted to see the reason for it. There are some men who actually WANT to please women when it comes to sex. So, yes, they read it to see if they could take away some interesting tips.

At this point, I’m sure I’m getting slammed for saying this because it wasn’t just erotica, it was about BDSM, and that’s why most men were curious. Yes, that’s a big part of it. That goes back to the curious part. Even so, anything to do with love, sex, and male/female relationships in books, men just aren’t interested.

It is a female dominated genre. The majority of novels written in the romance genre are written by females. The majority of sales in this genre are also made by women, which means women are the ones reading these books. And while we’re all most likely aware of this, I stopped to wonder why. Why do men hate these kinds of books? Because they’re not wired like we women. They’re not big into the hearts and flowers and champagne and strawberries phenomenon. Most don’t make love—they have sex. Women write these books and read these books because we love the heroes in these books. We all want men like this, and most of us don’t have men like these in our lives. If the males in the world would stop for a moment and consider the reason why the females in their lives or even the ones they haven’t met yet, flock to these kinds of books, they would do themselves an enormous justice. If they read some of these romance novels once-in-a-while they might understand more about how we think and feel and what we truly want in a relationship. If they cared at all about their girlfriend, spouse, or live-in mate, they would take the time to see why we read and write these kinds of stories. They just don’t seem capable to learn this on their own. (Please now men, don’t take offense) Most good things in life have to be learned and how do we learn? By being taught.

I know there are men who do read romance novels and why they do is for the reason I just mentioned…they want to know what women like and they want to please them. These are the smart men in the world. These are the ones out there now who are making their woman extremely happy and satisfied. I would venture to guess this is because of one of the following reasons:

a. They read romance books, listen and learn as if it’s their textbook. They either figured this out on their own, or a close female in their lives told them to
b. They read the Joy of Sex at some point in time and it’s their dictionary; again same reason as A.above
c. They had an older woman in their life who was a sexual partner who taught them what they needed to know

Men, if you think your lady is already happy and satisfied, stop kidding yourself. Most are not, not unless you’re like our protagonists in the books we read. If they seem to be pleased with the way things are going right now in your relationship, it’s because they are too young to know any better, are blindly in love as we all are in our teenage years and our twenties, are deluding themselves, or because they’ve never had really good sex. Believe me, if they had, they wouldn’t be thinking they were satisfied any couple more. Of course there are those women who think they’re too strong and independent to ever need a man to satisfy them and provide what our romance novel heroes provide. They probably hate books like this. Why they do is beyond me. And unfortunately, for them, they are missing out on some great times. However, that’s another story…couple

It’s unfortunate most men won’t heed this advice even if they do read this blog. It will be because it’s just too hard for them to swallow. It’s a pride and arrogance issue which is too bad, or they’re just lazy. It would be nice if they heard what one man I spoke to said. He explained that he loves to please women, and he wanted to know how to do this. So when he was sixteen years old, he read “The Joy of Sex”. He learned everything he could about what women wanted. Now, I’ve never met this man. I don’t know if he is classically handsome or even fit and trim, but from just speaking to him, I would’ve been interested in meeting him if I were a single woman. At my age, I’ve met and talked to a lot of men in my life, and none seemed to understand females the way this gentleman did.

One thing the males in this world need to remember…if you are in a long-term relationship, married or not, you need to keep things revved. Even if your woman starts out feeling satisfied and complete, a lifetime is a long time. Unless you’re heeding advice from the females in the romance world, you are most likely going to become the kind of mate they are not excited by any more and where the relationship and sex is boring for them; and this is when many of your relationships fall apart.

If only one male listens to this and picks up the next romance book, erotica is fine if that’s what you prefer, then I will have done a huge service for one lucky lady out there. Who knows?! Maybe he’ll tell a friend or two, and then you’ll have a few more happy females in the mix to join in with the ones who already have men in their life like our heroes from our books. Yes, they do exist. They are few and far between, but they are out there. Just remember…every woman is different in what she likes. The books are a great guideline. You just have to check with her about the details.

 

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